I sat one morning in the quiet. Listening. Waiting. Hoping God would show up. The stillness comforted me. The warmth of my dog resting upon my feet drew me into the gift of the present moment. Inner peace surrounded me like the blanket wrapped around my shoulders.
Then I heard that whisper, the one that often flows deep within me like air swirling through a flute. It’s him I’ve come to know and trust—the Inner Voice of God’s love speaking to my heart.
“When will you let me love you completely, as you are?” I heard his soft voice.
“I desire that, dear Father. I hunger for wholeness, but something blocks me from letting you love me that way. Give me the grace to open my heart fully to you.”
So began the journey of naming my deepest desire: a hunger for wholeness.
It’s a yearning perhaps we all have, whether we name it as such. It’s the desire to feel connected to ourselves, God, and all Creation. It’s the hope we are complete, human and divine, beautiful and flawed, desiring to feel at home within ourselves and with the One who lives in us.
I don’t know why we can’t get there. I wish there was a magic button we could push that would make us experience wholeness. Something that would take away all the negative voices in our heads that tell us who or what we are not.
“What’s wholeness to you?” I asked my wife.
“I feel whole when I’m connected to myself and God in mind, body, and Spirit,” she said. “ It’s as if those three parts of me are working together to experience each moment with a sense of gratitude and Divine Presence. I’m whole when I’m able to accept my imperfections—when I let go of demanding perfection from myself and instead focus on the spiritual progress I make day by day.”
I asked my buddy Ralph the same question.
“Wholeness is living from my true self—from the part of me that’s authentic, that’s not driven by my ego. I often experience wholeness during my morning quiet times with God,” Ralph said. “As I listen deeply, I hear whatever wisdom God reveals during daily times of solitude. And, slowly, I’m becoming more aware of when I’m living from who I truly am, instead of who my ego thinks I need to be. I’m discovering my purpose and letting that be my guide.”
The dictionary defines wholeness as the state of forming a complete and harmonious whole, unity. Scripture says, “You have been made complete in Christ” (Colossians 2:10a).
Complete. Whole in Christ. Powerful words my mind can’t wrap itself around, try as I may. Maybe that’s the problem. We’re not supposed to understand it. It’s something our souls know. Something we awaken to when we’re ready. Something only grace can breathe into us.
We experience wholeness when we know we are One with God and ourselves. We are complete as human and divine creatures connected to the Creator who loves and guides us with unconditional love and wisdom. We are part of the Whole.
And when we allow ourselves to bring our imperfections to God, we open our hearts and lives to letting the Spirit work with those broken pieces to lead us back to who we already are in him. We let go of striving for perfection and instead let the Divine Artist pour the holy glue of grace upon our hearts to form and shape our jagged edges into a beautiful mosaic.
Perhaps the place to start is to name it. To say out loud to the One who loves us unconditionally, “I desire to experience wholeness.”
I pray those words as I write this reflection. I don’t know why they stir my soul into tears. I just know that’s what I want, what my heart yearns for. I can’t get there on my own. But I trust if I ask, if we ask, we shall receive. We shall be set free from all the lies we tell ourselves. We shall be free to embrace who we already are—God’s Beloved.
Maybe God’s deepest desire is for us to realize we are already whole, complete in Christ, that we can awaken to Divine Wholeness.
The following are some meditations/affirmations God has placed upon my heart. I hope to integrate these into my life as I practice them. Join me if they speak to you.
I am complete in Christ. Connected to the Divine.
I love my mind, I love my body, I love my soul. The trinity of these work together in me as One.
I accept my imperfections as part of the journey. I bring them to God and let the Divine Artist make a mosaic with them.
I give up perfectionism. It’s my ego trying to feed my mind with false beliefs of who I think I am or should be.
I ask God for the grace to experience wholeness.
I am patient with myself. I focus on spiritual progress, not perfection.
I let go of what others may have said or done that made me feel incomplete.
You, God, complete me.
I am Whole in You.
—brian j plachta